The Senator Wilson
Case
Part I
|
M
|
y name is Rock, Eddie Rock. Actually, it is
Edward D. Rockefeller, but to me, the name sounds a lot tougher than I really
am. My office is located on the 14th
floor of the Jefferson building in Seattle; a
single window looks out over Elliott
Bay. Actually it is on
the 13th floor, but there is no 13th floor so it is the
14th floor. Only a Wiccan or
Madame Jeanjean can tell you why this is. The office decor, well, it is out of
the 40's, because that is who I am, or at least want to be; a detective out of
the 40's, when crime was simple. Always a good guy, always a bad guy; the good
guy wins and somewhere in all of it, there’s a moral. But in 2013, it’s hard to
keep everyone straight, and morality is rarer than a politician's sweat.
I grabbed the candlestick phone on my roll top desk,” Eddie Rock."
"Eddie, James Scribblelini. How are you?" His voice sounded like he had grabbed the Drano instead of the Listerine.
"Jimmy, old boy, I am happier than the proverbial clam at high tide. And just what do I owe for this call emanating from the lofty headquarters of Scribblelini, Scribblelini, and all the little Scribblelinis, many of whom have not yet been conceived. And just how many members of the bar, or are not right now in a bar, does your little firm have? Must be well over a hundred."
"I think there are a hundred ten of us, and I'm returning your call. What do you want?" The disgust in his voice made Eddie know he had got to him, again. But that is what best friends do.
"Yeah, I forgot. It was eight minutes ago when I called, and sometimes when current events turn into history, I forget. But we can discuss your lack of prompt response later; maybe over lunch sometime when you're ready to spring for the tab. I will say that would be just before the doomsday of Y2K."
"Y2K was over ten years ago, and as I remember it I have picked up the lunch bill the last 47 times we have eaten, but your memory, on those issues, is about as short as my -"
"Whoa, this is too much information and learning about your anatomical deficiencies is not why I called. I am finally going to take your advice. I need to hire a receptionist, actually, an assistant, you know someone to do the stuff I do not want to do."
"So, she will be doing everything," said Scribblelini in the best sarcastic voice he could muster.
"Splendid idea. I was thinking too small, but you have broadened my horizons. Now, you have any ideas?"
"First of all, your horizons are already broad enough from sitting in that antiquated swivel chair of yours. And as a matter of fact I have. I always have excellent ideas. But your taking my suggestion is almost more of a shock than this frail body of mine can take."
"Your body is only frail because of your constant thoughts of libertines and booze."
"Well, they are only thoughts and seeing your friends made me take the pledge of sobriety before I had ever succumbed to the temptation of the bottle. I am not going to comment on the other. A man is entitled to one vice."
"I will remember that." Eddie said while making a mental note of his own vices.
"I said one, Eddie." his friend retorted.
"Now you are my scorekeeper?"
"There's not enough ink and my upbringing will not allow me to write such trash," Scribblelini said in a voice trying to get one up in this ongoing banter. "I want you to talk with my niece, my sister's daughter, Louisa Artemis. She is smart, erudite, well educated and level headed."
"Smart and erudite is redundant."
"And like you she is impertinent, obstinate, bull headed and way too opinionated for someone with her lack of experience. I want you to talk with her and see what you think."
"I don't do interviews. If she is the one, send her over. If she isn't, I will fire her."
"No wonder you never have any employees. I will have her come and see you, but she’s already been vetted and everything is OK."
"Vetted? Why? Did she need rabies shots?" being careful to not call his friend's niece a dog.
"I have to go now. You're giving me a headache."
"I know this pharmacist that will give you whatever you need to fix every problem you have or ever will have. I am sure a headache is in there somewhere."
"That Lu Wong is not a pharmacist, and I wouldn't take anything from that herbalist quack," Scribblelini said with past experiences racing through his mind.
"He said the same thing about your lawyering skills when I suggested he call you for legal advice when the feds came down on him. You need to try him; he was telling me he has a new remedy for that shrinkage you are worrying about."
"It sounds like he is paying you a referral fee."
"Absolutely not, but I think I will bring that up with him. I try to give you some sage advice, and all I get is suspicion of my motives. And before we go much longer on this most scintillating conversation; am I billing you, or are you billing me for this chit chat?"
"You might as well bill me, and I will deduct it from your bill that you never pay anyway. Take care, Eddie." The phone clicked.
There was a knock at the door.
I grabbed the candlestick phone on my roll top desk,” Eddie Rock."
"Eddie, James Scribblelini. How are you?" His voice sounded like he had grabbed the Drano instead of the Listerine.
"Jimmy, old boy, I am happier than the proverbial clam at high tide. And just what do I owe for this call emanating from the lofty headquarters of Scribblelini, Scribblelini, and all the little Scribblelinis, many of whom have not yet been conceived. And just how many members of the bar, or are not right now in a bar, does your little firm have? Must be well over a hundred."
"I think there are a hundred ten of us, and I'm returning your call. What do you want?" The disgust in his voice made Eddie know he had got to him, again. But that is what best friends do.
"Yeah, I forgot. It was eight minutes ago when I called, and sometimes when current events turn into history, I forget. But we can discuss your lack of prompt response later; maybe over lunch sometime when you're ready to spring for the tab. I will say that would be just before the doomsday of Y2K."
"Y2K was over ten years ago, and as I remember it I have picked up the lunch bill the last 47 times we have eaten, but your memory, on those issues, is about as short as my -"
"Whoa, this is too much information and learning about your anatomical deficiencies is not why I called. I am finally going to take your advice. I need to hire a receptionist, actually, an assistant, you know someone to do the stuff I do not want to do."
"So, she will be doing everything," said Scribblelini in the best sarcastic voice he could muster.
"Splendid idea. I was thinking too small, but you have broadened my horizons. Now, you have any ideas?"
"First of all, your horizons are already broad enough from sitting in that antiquated swivel chair of yours. And as a matter of fact I have. I always have excellent ideas. But your taking my suggestion is almost more of a shock than this frail body of mine can take."
"Your body is only frail because of your constant thoughts of libertines and booze."
"Well, they are only thoughts and seeing your friends made me take the pledge of sobriety before I had ever succumbed to the temptation of the bottle. I am not going to comment on the other. A man is entitled to one vice."
"I will remember that." Eddie said while making a mental note of his own vices.
"I said one, Eddie." his friend retorted.
"Now you are my scorekeeper?"
"There's not enough ink and my upbringing will not allow me to write such trash," Scribblelini said in a voice trying to get one up in this ongoing banter. "I want you to talk with my niece, my sister's daughter, Louisa Artemis. She is smart, erudite, well educated and level headed."
"Smart and erudite is redundant."
"And like you she is impertinent, obstinate, bull headed and way too opinionated for someone with her lack of experience. I want you to talk with her and see what you think."
"I don't do interviews. If she is the one, send her over. If she isn't, I will fire her."
"No wonder you never have any employees. I will have her come and see you, but she’s already been vetted and everything is OK."
"Vetted? Why? Did she need rabies shots?" being careful to not call his friend's niece a dog.
"I have to go now. You're giving me a headache."
"I know this pharmacist that will give you whatever you need to fix every problem you have or ever will have. I am sure a headache is in there somewhere."
"That Lu Wong is not a pharmacist, and I wouldn't take anything from that herbalist quack," Scribblelini said with past experiences racing through his mind.
"He said the same thing about your lawyering skills when I suggested he call you for legal advice when the feds came down on him. You need to try him; he was telling me he has a new remedy for that shrinkage you are worrying about."
"It sounds like he is paying you a referral fee."
"Absolutely not, but I think I will bring that up with him. I try to give you some sage advice, and all I get is suspicion of my motives. And before we go much longer on this most scintillating conversation; am I billing you, or are you billing me for this chit chat?"
"You might as well bill me, and I will deduct it from your bill that you never pay anyway. Take care, Eddie." The phone clicked.
There was a knock at the door.
